


Courage

by HonestlyJustHereForALaff



Series: Spectrum [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Autism, Autism Spectrum, Canon Compliant, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing, POV Third Person Limited, Suicidal Thoughts, the one from Never Been Kissed not a new one and not from Blaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 01:53:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17416739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HonestlyJustHereForALaff/pseuds/HonestlyJustHereForALaff
Summary: Blaine learns that the golden rule isn't as golden as he was lead to believe.Follows the events of "Never Been Kissed".





	Courage

**Author's Note:**

> I've been staring at this draft for days and am at the point where I just need to put it up so I can move on, y'know?
> 
> Anyway, I can't tell you how much all your kudos, comments, bookmarks, or just views have meant, given how strange this headcanon must seem at first glance. I want to clarify that, as best I can, this will be an ongoing series detailing THE ENTIRETY of the show, seeing as this is basically my thesis statement on why this headcanon works any way you slice it. I just figured it was best to do them as a series of stand-alone stories in a collection rather than one long story with multiple chapters because I don't know if I'm going to do one episode per chapter, and I don't want to have the dreaded question mark in the chapter section for all of time. So do not fret, there is so much more autistic Blaine to come. :)

Blaine hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Kurt. For so many reasons.

Some he didn’t like to acknowledge. Sure, Kurt was cute. Really cute. But what if it had all been an act? Part of it had been, at least, so what if it all was? What if he’d done his research, looked for the most vulnerable member and zeroed in on him on purpose?

Jesus, what if he knew?

He hated being lied to, being manipulated. Mostly because he knew how easy it was. He tended to take people at face value. Distrust was never his first instinct. It had caused him so many problems in the past, yet he never seemed to learn.

The fact that he’d let some random guy play him like a fiddle, after not dealing with bullies for years now--it stung.

And that was to say nothing of the guilt he felt. Even though Kurt (if that was his real name) hadn’t really learned anything, and even though it was just a practice run, they now couldn’t perform Teenage Dream at Sectionals. That was all his fault, and no matter how often he apologized, the guilt still ate at him.

So when Thad opened the next Council meeting by smiling and saying, “We got him”, Blaine instantly sat up.

“And?” It was out of his mouth before he remembered he was trying to play it cool.

“Kurt’s his real name, at least,” Thad continued. “Kurt Hummel, member of the New Directions glee club--”

“I’m sorry, the _what_ glee club?” Jeff asked through snorts.

Everyone who wasn’t a freshman like him rolled their eyes. “New Directions,” Thad said, slowly. “Not...that.”

“Please, continue, Councilman Thad,” David said.

Thad looked back at his notes. “He’s their only countertenor, but he hasn’t had any solos officially with the group. We found one performance with the McKinley High School cheerleading team, but that seems to be independent of the glee club.”

Someone nudged Blaine, and he shoved their hand away, his eyes still locked on Thad. “So…?”

Thad finally looked up. “So, he doesn’t seem too loyal to the club.”

“That might explain why he was such a bad spy,” Wes offered.

“Regardless, he’d probably respond well to a talk. We’ve already arranged to meet him in the cafeteria in about thirty minutes.”

Blaine felt his eyebrows shoot up. Thirty minutes? He’d have to see Kurt again in just thirty minutes? There wasn’t enough time in the world. At least he had until the end of the meeting--

“That will adjourn our meeting, thank you.” Wes was hitting the gavel. Was the meeting that short, or had he just zoned out the whole time?

“Come on, Blaine,” David said. And there went any hopes of them forgetting he was supposed to be there.

He had no idea what to expect from this. Kurt wasn’t totally lying, and that was good. But what did he want? How would he react to being called out? And why hadn’t anyone warned him he was coming so he could hide for a bit and prepare himself?

Hopefully he’d get the answers to some of those questions soon.

* * *

As it turned out, they did get a bit of time, since they got to the cafeteria early. It was more like a cafe, really, but everyone called it the cafeteria. Wes and David left the job of buying the coffee to Blaine, so he had to guess what kind of coffee Kurt would like. A boy he didn’t know at all, and he had to figure out his coffee order.

He figured a latte was the safest bet he had, so he got him one along with everyone else’s orders. He braced himself as he turned around, but Kurt still wasn’t there. He sat down with everyone’s coffee, doing his best to keep up conversation. By the looks Wes and David gave each other, though, he could tell he was looking behind him at the door too much.

His mind had never stopped running. What if Kurt laughed at him? At all of them? What if he called him stupid? Images of his old bullies were flashing in his mind, and the idea of Kurt saying those things to him--

“Hi.”

Blaine looked away from Wes--that’s right, he was supposed to be listening to him--and towards the source of the now-familiar voice.

Kurt was much better dressed than yesterday. His shirt had such an interesting pattern, the vest was weirdly thick, and the tie was, too. Yet it all flowed together perfectly. 

“Hey, Kurt,” He said, trying to sound nonchalant despite his pounding heart. “Have a seat.”

Kurt sat down, and it was only then that he noticed the tension on his face, the pronounced frown that was so different from the easy smile of yesterday. But maybe that had been the act, and this was really him.

Still, he tried for a peace offering. “Latte?” He said, pushing the cup towards him.

Kurt mouthed a “thank you”, but his eyes were scanning them like a hawk. Something about the look seemed familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

So, Blaine pretended he didn’t see it. “This is Wes and David,” He continued, pointing to them each in turn.

Kurt smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and his voice seemed to give out near the end. “It’s very civilized of you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying.”

Oh. That’s what he’d seen in his face. Fear. Fight or flight. The I’m-about-to-get-the-crap-beaten-out-of-me-but-I’m-keeping-cool-to-save-some-of-my-dignity face. He knew that feeling all too well.

Wes spoke before he could, though. “We are not going to beat you up.”

Blaine couldn’t keep looking at that face. Kurt didn’t deserve to know that feeling. He felt his hand start to shake, so he distracted himself by drinking his coffee.

He closed his eyes for good measure as he calmed himself, but he could still hear the smile in David’s voice. “You were such a terrible spy, we thought it was sort of...endearing.”

Blaine almost flinched. Endearing. How many times had he been called that after screwing something up? They couldn’t leave it on that note.

“Which made me think that spying on us wasn’t really the reason you came.” He finally looked up at him, hoping he looked like he knew what was going on. Truth was, he had no idea why Kurt had come, but Thad had seemed convinced there was something else going on.

And even now, he found he wanted to impress Kurt.

Kurt did smile, but then he looked down at the table. Nervous. He looked back up again, though thankfully not at Blaine. “Can I ask you guys a question?”

Blaine nodded, bracing himself. It could be anything. It could be a criticism of their routine, or even an insult--

“Are you guys all gay?”

Blaine laughed. He couldn’t help it. He was surprised at the directness, relieved that it wasn’t anything bad, and maybe a little bit giddy that Kurt might be gay, too. Luckily, Wes and David were laughing, too. That meant it was okay, right?

When he looked back up at Kurt, though, he wasn’t laughing, or even smiling. He looked like he was about to cry, actually. Not good.

“Uh, no,” He said, quickly tamping down his laughter. “I mean, I am, but these two have girlfriends.” Was that too forward? He supposed it was being honest. Telling him Wes was bi, now that would be too much, he knew. But outing himself was still a risk.

Kurt smiled into his coffee, though, so Blaine figured he was safe. Maybe more than safe.

“--tolerance harassment policy.”

Oh no, he’d spaced out again. He’d been looking at David, at least there was that.

“Everybody gets treated the same, no matter what they are. It’s pretty simple.” Wes added.

Kurt didn’t say anything. His mouth opened, but nothing came out.

Blaine’s head tilted, a habit from when he was a kid that he never quite broke. He didn’t understand why that would make Kurt upset. The policy was great, it was the whole reason he’d come here.

Kurt looked like he was going to cry again. Why would he be crying? Blaine just didn’t get it. He tried to think of what Wes said, and why it would make him cry.

_“Everyone gets treated the same, no matter what they are.”_

Oh. Blaine thought he might get it.

“Would you guys excuse us?” He asked, hoping it wasn’t rude. Wes might get it, but he had a feeling Kurt wanted as little of an audience as possible, if he was anything like Blaine.

They didn’t seem mad, just smiled and got up. “Take it easy, Kurt,” Wes said, but Kurt didn’t look up.

As they left, Blaine realized he’d made a huge mistake. Now it was just him and Kurt, and he’d have to do this conversation alone. Crap.

He decided to go with his guess first. “I take it you’re having trouble at school.” McKinley was a public school, he knew that much. And he remembered pretty well what kind of policies they had in public school, which was to say, none at all.

Unfortunately, Kurt didn’t stop crying. “I’m the only person out of the closet at my school.”

Blaine had definitely been there. Memories of his old school started flooding in and he felt his hand start to shake. He clenched it in his lap, looking down for a moment as Kurt continued.

“And I...I tried to stay strong about it, but...there’s this Neanderthal who’s made it his mission to make my life a living hell.”

Blaine tried to look back up, but God, the pain on Kurt’s face. He looked a bit to the side, and Kurt seemed to finish up. 

“And nobody seems to notice.”

Oh crap, and he hadn’t been looking. He didn’t want Kurt to think he didn’t care, because he did. He really did.

“I know how you feel.” He thought it was a good start, but Kurt looked away, even sort of rolled his eyes. Blaine’s stomach dropped in shame, and he tried to explain himself.

“I got taunted at my old school, and it really…”

_Hurt me, upset me, made me tear at my own skin, made me scream into my pillow every single day, made me think about how quiet it would be if I just took a knife from downstairs and…_

“Pissed me off.” He went with.

Kurt still didn’t look up. Was he doing this all wrong? He felt himself start to babble, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“I even complained about it to the faculty, and they were sympathetic and all, but you could just tell that...no one really cared.”

Kurt was looking at him now. Wait, was this working?

“It was like, “Hey, if you’re gay, your life’s just gonna be miserable. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it.” ” He actually managed to make eye contact with Kurt for a bit that time.

Kurt acknowledged it, but then looked away. What did that mean? He should have let Wes and David stay. 

“So I left, and I came here.” He said, unable to leave the story unfinished. “Simple as that.” He could hear the bitterness in his voice. He wanted to be stronger, to have stood up to his bullies just once. But as usual, he’d run away, let other people fight his battles.

Maybe he should give Kurt the advice he wanted to hear back then.

“So you have two options,” He said. “I mean, I’d love to tell you to just come enroll here--” 

_For so many reasons._

“--but tuition at Dalton’s sort of steep, and I--I know that’s not an option for everybody.” He still felt guilty every day he was here, knowing how much it cost his parents.

“Or,” He quickly added, daring himself to keep the eye contact with Kurt. “You can refuse to be the victim.”

He waited for Kurt to say something, but he didn’t. So, he tried to explain. “Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt.” He paused a bit before saying his name, realizing he’d never said it out loud before. He liked it. “And you have a chance right now to teach him.” Surely, if he’d been able to tell his bullies what being gay was like, if they’d truly understood that he wasn’t so different, he could still be at his old school right now. He just knew it.

Kurt finally spoke. “How?”

“Confront him,” Blaine said, shifting a little in his chair to keep from getting too loud. “Call him out.” It was important to be direct, he knew that better than anyone. Maybe this “Neanderthal” didn’t realize how much damage he was really doing. He certainly had his moments where he was doing something annoying or mean, and had no idea until someone told him.

“I ran, Kurt.” He really did like saying his name. The hard sounds seemed softer than normal. Soft name. “I didn’t stand up. I let bullies chase me away, and it is something that I really, really regret.”

Kurt just kept staring. Blaine had no idea what to say. Had he said it all wrong?

He didn’t have time to wonder, because someone cleared their throat behind him. When he looked up, he saw the teacher running the cafe behind Kurt.

“We’re closing up, boys.”

Sure enough, when Blaine looked around, the place was empty. “Alright, thanks.” Blaine got up, nodding out the door, and waited until Kurt was following before walking him to the front door.

When they got outside, Blaine was lost again. What was he supposed to say? Or, wait, how was Kurt getting home?

“Is someone picking you up, or…?”

“No, I drove.”

Damn. No chance of talking more, then. “Well then…”

He didn’t know what to say, actually. He stuck his hand out for a handshake almost on default. Kurt seemed a bit surprised, but took his hand before Blaine could pull away.

“Good luck, Kurt.”

“Thanks.”

They were still shaking hands--was Blaine holding too tight? He let go, offering what he hoped was a casual smile.

Kurt returned it, then turned away, and it was only then that Blaine thought of something. “Wait!”

He didn’t even check to see if Kurt turned around, going through his pockets. He really hoped he wouldn’t have to go through his bag. As luck would have it, he still had a stub of a pencil in his pocket.

He glanced up, and was relieved to see Kurt was standing still, though he looked a bit confused.

Blaine looked down again, deciding to use his own coffee sleeve at the last minute, since he didn’t want to make Kurt wait any longer. He wrote his number carefully, but quickly, then almost ripped the sleeve off his cup. With a smile, he playfully tossed it to Kurt, thankful that he caught it.

“Let me know how it goes,” He said, before turning around and walking back inside. That had been a risk, and he didn’t want to see what happened, just in case. Either Kurt would respond, or he wouldn’t. No sense worrying over it, then.

Of course, he did, the whole way back to his house. He’d always had a hard time figuring out his own feelings, and this was no exception. The Warblers seemed convinced he had a crush on Kurt, but he wasn’t so sure. He had a tendency to latch on to people when he first met them, especially if they’d been very kind in that first meeting, which Kurt had been, in his eyes. He’d let him grab his hand and been so enthusiastic about their song. But he’d also latched onto Wes and David, for a while, and he definitely hadn’t had crushes on them, but he’d considered whether or not he did the first week he met.

It was just confusing to sift through. He had a hard enough time recognizing he was hungry, for God’s sake, and this was so much more complicated.

Just as he got to his room, his phone buzzed, and he almost dropped it in his rush to see what it said.

 **Contact: Kurt**

Kurt’s number. Kurt had given him his number. Blaine unconsciously let out a little happy noise and pumped his fist. He then looked around, embarrassed even though he was the only one in his room.

He had Kurt’s number. He could talk to him whenever he wanted.

He could talk to him right now.

But he decided not to. This had already been a long day, and he could feel himself shutting down a bit. He had to finish his homework before he shut down for real.

But every time he glanced at his phone, he felt a new spark of energy.

* * *

The next morning, Blaine was so exhausted he almost forgot about the day before. When he turned off his alarm, though, the push notification was still there from Kurt, and he smiled. He had to text him something today.

He couldn’t take his phone out until lunch, though, and he hid in the bathroom to do it. His friends would tease him to no end if he started fumbling over what to text him.

It couldn’t be too long, and he couldn’t really start a conversation since they were both in class. He suddenly remembered that Kurt was going to face his bully today. He should text him something encouraging. He’d already said ‘good luck’, though, and that seemed too trite, anyway. Everything he thought of did, really.

Well, first thing, it needed to have a signature on it, just in case Kurt hadn’t saved his contact. He put a bunch of dashes, then “Blaine”. Just in case.

No more stalling. He had to think of the perfect thing to say.

He decided to start with the word “Courage”. He always liked that word, the way it rolled off his tongue. But what was he going to say? “Have courage”? “Be courageous”? “Sending you courage”? It all sounded so dumb.

The bell rang, and it made him jump. He quickly gathered his things and got out of the stall, checking his hair in the mirror on the way out. He looked down at his phone, still trying to decide.

But to his horror, he saw he must have accidentally hit ‘send’ somewhere in the confusion. He’d sent a text that only said “Courage- - -Blaine”. So much for a perfect first text.

He shoved his phone in his pocket, resisting the urge to run his hand through his hair in favor of flapping his hand a few times. Thank god no one was in there to see it, he thought. This was embarrassing enough already.

He didn’t want to be late for class, though, so he gave it one more good flap, then ran out the door.

* * *

“Alright, let’s take a break, everyone!”

Normally, Blaine was as happy for a break as anyone else. They had to start preparing for Sectionals soon, and the rehearsals were starting to pick up in intensity to match. As much as he loved being surrounded by music, and the repetition of it, even he could get exhausted by it all.

But now, he wanted nothing more than to run it nonstop until practice was over. Because if he kept himself busy, maybe he’d stop glancing at his bag, where his phone was sitting.

He hadn’t dared to check his phone in class, but it also hadn’t buzzed once the whole time. They’d been practicing for a while, though, it could have gone off without anyone noticing.

There was no use waiting now, though. He reached in his bag, feeling around for his phone. Trying to look calm, he paused just a moment before lifting it up and bringing the screen to life.

Nothing.

He must have made some sort of face, because Trent laughed next to him. “You trying to burn through your phone with laser eyes or something?”

“I could use a new one,” He grinned back at him. _Yes, and._ One of the most important rules of comedy.

It worked a charm as it always did, because Trent laughed again. “You need the laser eyes first.”

“Who says I don’t already have them?”

“Why are we talking about laser eyes?” Jeff jumped over the couch to join in.

“It’s not for comic book reasons,” Trent said, and Jeff deflated just a little. “Blaine was glaring at his phone for daring to not have any messages.”

“Waiting on one?” Jeff asked.

“Yeah,” Blaine explained. “Kurt’s probably going to confront his--”

“Wait wait wait,” Jeff shook his hand to make him stop. “You and Kurt have each other’s numbers?”

“Yeah, we exchanged them yesterday.”

A chorus of “ooo”s and whistles, and Blaine became aware that everyone was listening.

“You didn’t tell me this!” Thad elbowed Wes at his side.

“Must have happened after we left,” Wes shrugged.

“Ooo, you two were alone together?” Trent said, lifting his eyebrows twice, and that was when Blaine got it.

“Guys, come on, it’s not like that,” He laughed.

He jumped as he both felt and heard a strong buzzing. When he checked the source, he saw his phone had finally lit up.

Kurt was calling him.

Jeff let out a high-pitched laugh. “Oh my god, he’s calling you! It is so like that!”

“Who calls people anymore?” Trent agreed.

“Are you gonna answer it or what?” Thad asked.

Blaine snapped out of his shock, but not quick enough.

“I’ll get it!” Jeff said as he snatched his phone, walking quickly to the other side of the room.

Blaine ran after him, smiling even though he was a bit annoyed. “Hey! Jeff, come on!”

Jeff wasn’t listening, just dramatically hit the screen in the right place and held the phone to his ear. “Hello-oo?” He sing-songed in perfect pitch.

Blaine put a hand over his face. As if things weren’t embarrassing enough with that text. Hopefully Kurt would forgive his nosy friends.

“Whoa, wait, no, you have the right number, Kurt, sorry, I---we were just messing around, and--Blaine’s right here.”

Blaine looked up, noting the complete change of tone. Jeff’s eyes were wide, and his smile was gone as he almost pushed the phone back into his hands. Blaine felt his brow furrow, and he held the phone to his ear.

“Kurt, you still there?”

A weird noise came through the phone, one that Blaine couldn’t identify right away.

But then Kurt said, “Yeah, I’m here,” and he recognized that shakiness from yesterday.

When Kurt had been crying.

“Hey, are you okay?” He said, his voice getting much softer. 

Another one of those sounds. A sob, he knew it now.

Someone cleared their throat back in the Warbler room, and Blaine looked towards the sound. It was David, who nodded towards the door with a smile. Blaine mouthed ‘thank you’ as he took long strides to get out of the room. 

On the other end, he could hear Kurt struggling to get a full word out. He was almost to the point of hyperventilating. Blaine found a bench outside and sat himself down.

“Kurt, hey, deep breaths, okay? Take your time, don’t rush it.”

Kurt said something that sounded like “Okay”, and he heard his breaths start to even out. Blaine tried to do the same, though a frantically fast tapping noise was distracting him a bit. When he looked down, he saw it was his own finger drumming the bench, and quickly moved it to his lap. He tried to keep it still, but it was a losing battle, and the tapping eventually but quietly continued on his knee.

“Alright,” Kurt finally said on the other side, though he was still sniffling, Blaine could hear it. “I’m...it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” Blaine said. Was that too blunt? “What happened?” 

Another deep breath on Kurt’s end. “I confronted him. Karofsky.”

“The Neanderthal?” It was just a clarification, but he heard Kurt let out a shaky laugh, and Blaine had to smile.

“Yeah, him.”

“And?” He suddenly had a thought that made his stomach drop. “Kurt, did he hurt you?”

“No.” 

Blaine relaxed in relief.

“Yes.” 

Blaine sat up straight again. Which was it? 

Kurt was starting to sob again, so he had to say something. “Deep breaths,” He reminded him.

Blaine heard Kurt’s breath start to even out again, and he took the time to calm himself, too. He couldn’t help but remember all the people in the past, kids and doctors alike, who all said he didn’t have empathy. Right now, he thought he might have too much--his emotions seemed to rise and fall in perfect time with Kurt’s.

He decided not to ask this time, just let Kurt talk when he was ready. It took a long few moments, but he finally spoke. It was in a choked whisper, and yet it hit him like a gut punch.

“He kissed me.”

Blaine’s mind went blank. He knew he was feeling a lot of emotions, swirling around his head, but they were like mist. He couldn’t grab onto any one and identify it, but they were everywhere, surrounding him, and he couldn’t see the way out right away.

Kurt kept talking, filling the silence. “And I froze, I just...and then he leaned in again and I...I shoved him and then he HIT the lockers and it was so loud and I just, oh God, I just--”

Kurt was repeating himself. The mist cleared a bit. He knew he had to say something. “Kurt, it’s okay. You’re okay.” God, this would be so much easier if Kurt was here. He’d be able to put a hand on his shoulder, maybe around him. He knew that was the right thing to do when someone was upset. Finding the right things to do was easier than finding the right things to say, for him.

“I have to go back,” Kurt was saying. “Tomorrow, I have to...and he’ll be there.”

“Then so will I.” It was out of his mouth before he thought about it, but he didn’t take it back.

“What?”

He took a deep breath, realizing why he was so upset. “Kurt...this is my fault.”

“No, Blaine--”

“I know, it’s Neanderthal’s fault, sure, but…” He bit his lip. He needed to say this just right. “I didn’t think.” 

_What else is new,_ a bitter voice in his head sneered.

“I just told you what I would want to hear, but I didn’t think about whether that was safe for you. It’s...easy to forget everywhere isn’t like Dalton, when you’ve been here a while.”

“Blaine, you don’t have to--”

“I want to.” He shouldn’t have interrupted, but his mind was running too quick to remember to apologize. “If you’re going to try standing up to him again, you should have backup. I want to have your back this time.”

A pause. Blaine wondered if he should apologize now, or even if Kurt had hung up, sick of taking his advice. Understandable.

“I did stand up to him.” He heard something different in his voice. Maybe a smile?

“Yeah?” Blaine was smiling at least. “Tell me about it.”

“I called him an ignoramus.” A laugh, definitely a laugh.

“Nice,” Blaine laughed along with him. Mirroring. Stop it.

“And a ham hock.”

Blaine whistled in appreciation.

“And said he couldn’t handle how extraordinarily ordinary he was.”

“Damn, Kurt!” He was beaming now, and he could hear Kurt laugh a little on the other end. 

“Well, you did give me courage.”

“No, that was all you,” He insisted. No way a missent text had fueled all of that.

“Let’s say it’s fifty-fifty.”

“Agree to disagree.”

Another pause. 

“So, um, what time should I be at McKinley?”

“Blaine, you really don’t--”

“No, I really do, so come on. What time?”

“I have a free period before lunch, and I usually see him on the way there. 11:30, I walk right by the front door.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Okay. Blaine...thank you.”

“Hey, it’s no problem. See you tomorrow, alright?”

“See you tomorrow.”

As Blaine hung up, he suddenly remembered. McKinley was two hours away. He’d have to leave by 9:30, at the earliest. 

Well. Time to very quickly develop a convincing head cold until his Mom went to work.

* * *

Blaine got there a little early, just in case, waiting exactly where Kurt had told him to. A few people stared at him, since he clearly didn’t fit in. He’d forgotten what it was like to stand out, after so long at Dalton. Given what they were about to do, it made him uneasy, and he noticed his toes start moving inside his shoes. That stim was reserved for when he had no other options, couldn’t be visible with it in any way.

He hadn’t done that in a while.

Kurt came around the corner before it could become too noticeable, though. He was as fashionable as ever, but he still looked pretty shaken. He offered Blaine a small smile when they made eye contact, though, and Blaine smiled back. He pretended he needed to watch the steps to excuse breaking the eye contact as he met him halfway.

“Thanks again for coming,” Kurt said as he led them up the stairs. His voice was softer than it had been even on the phone yesterday.

“Don’t worry about it,” He reassured him. “Just let me do the talking.”

Odd thing to say, since he was about to confront a bully, something he’d never actually done himself. It was always easier to do these sorts of things for other people than for himself. 

_He remembered trying to explain this to Cooper a while back, about how he would never complain about his own order being wrong, but the minute Cooper mentioned something was wrong, he’d march right up to the counter. As he’d explained, his brother had started laughing uncontrollably. Blaine had wondered what he said wrong, but Cooper must have seen something on his face, because he’d explained between breaths:_

_“It’s--Blaine, it’s--oh my God, your anxiety has a Mom Friend Override!”_

That was definitely what this felt like. Even when Kurt whispered “There he is,” and he saw a guy who was about twice his size and had a bad case of resting bitch-face, he didn’t flinch. 

“I got your back,” He whispered back.

Okay, there was still a little fear, but he pushed past it, looking right at the guy in question. Car-something. The Neanderthal. “Excuse me.”

Neanderthal locked eyes with them. “Hey, lady-boys.” It came out so easily, and Blaine felt an echo of his old helplessness pass through him.

The boy continued, scoffing. “This your boyfriend, Kurt?”

Even him? Blaine had always wished he had more gay friends, but he had no idea it would mean everyone would assume they were dating. Was this what having female friends was like for Coop?

He tried to ignore it. “Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something,” He said calmly.

“I gotta go to class,” Neanderthal said, before unexcpectedly shoving them both. It made Blaine tense, but he saw Kurt go stumbling a bit, too. Focus, focus, focus.

“Kurt told me what you did.” He hoped that would stop him, and luckily, he was right.

Neanderthal turned around, suddenly the picture of confusion. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Blaine opened his mouth, but Kurt beat him to it.

“You kissed me.”

He sounded on the verge of tears again, and his voice was shaking, but he’d said it. Courage.

Neanderthal was definitely flustered now, looking all around. Making sure no one heard, Blaine thought. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Part of Blaine wanted to demand he apologize, or stay away from Kurt. But he’d thought about how he was going to approach this the night before. Even though this wasn’t his strong suit, he tried to see things from Neand--from this guy’s point of view. He was closeted, and confused, and scared out of his mind. If there was any reprimanding that could be done, it would be the job of the school and any parents or guardians he had.

He tried to think about what he would have wanted to hear, if he’d met an out and functioning gay man when he was still in the closet. And he’d written a script from there.

“It seems like you might be a little confused,” He started. “And that’s totally normal.” If he’d known that questioning his sexuality was normal, and not just him “not getting it” because he was autistic, he wouldn’t have spent so long being miserable.

The other guy was trying to walk away, but Blaine wasn’t done. “This is a very hard thing to come to terms with, and you should just know that you’re not alone.”

He stopped in his tracks. Blaine smiled. He was getting through to him.

Then he turned around, and Blaine smiled at first, but he was approaching fast.

Before he could think to get out of the way, there were hands on him, and his back hit the metal fence. His face and mind went blank. He heard his voice, but he couldn’t focus. It was like the volume was turned up on the world. The sound of the metal fence shaking still echoed in his ears, and suddenly the low rumble of voices and footsteps was almost deafening. His breath was in his face, too, and the feel of it hitting his face and the smell of his breath and sweat--

Everything was hitting him in waves, and he worried he would drown.

But before that could happen, Neanderthal was suddenly much further away, and Kurt was standing in his place, though with his back to him. He’d said something, too, but Blaine’s head was still swimming.

His hands were up, when had they gone up? He put them down, trying to calm everything down. He focused on Kurt again, like he had in the Commons before. Standing tall, but breathing heavy. Courage.

His eyes darted to the other guy, his senses still on high alert. If he attacked Kurt next, he needed to be able to push him off. Wait, had Kurt pushed him off before? God, his head.

Fortunately, it didn’t come to that. Neanderthal just walked away, seemingly for good this time.

Blaine’s brain was slowly coming back online. He at least knew enough to notice an awkward silence building between him and Kurt. He’d released a long breath, so apparently he’d been holding it a bit. Still scared, maybe. He needed to say something to break the tension, show that he was fine.

Maybe a joke?

“Well, he’s not coming out anytime soon.”

He looked to Kurt after a moment, when he didn’t hear a laugh. Kurt wasn’t smiling. He’d walked over to the stairs, sitting down. His eyes were filling with tears again. He fiddled with his tie and jacket for just a second, but managed to stop himself.

“What’s going on?” He asked, switching tactics and keeping his voice soft as he moved to sit next to him on the stairs. “Why are you so upset?” It hadn’t gone that well, sure, but it seemed like Kurt had a handle on things, from what he’d seen. He was clearly willing to stand up when needed, something Blaine had never done. Neanderthal clearly had more reason to be scared of Kurt than the other way around, so Blaine didn’t understand the problem.

Kurt took a moment to explain. “Because up until yesterday I had never been kissed. Or, at least...one that counted.”

Oh. Blaine hadn’t thought of that. To have your first kiss be from someone like that, someone who hated you...that would be awful.

He licked his lips, nodding so Kurt would know he heard him and understood, but he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t take that moment back for him. He couldn’t fix it, at least not directly, so he was at a loss. 

But he had to help. He wanted to help.

They needed to get out of here, though. Kurt had said this was his only free period before lunch, and Blaine was getting hungry, too.

Wait. Lunch.

“Come on,” He smiled, jerking his head back where they came, and even touching his arm for a moment, just in case this was a stupid idea. “I’ll buy you lunch.”

Kurt’s face twitched into a smile for just a moment, and that was all the encouragement he needed.

He led them out, not daring to look back. Even if Kurt didn’t want anything to do with him after this, which was understandable, at least he’d get to have this one lunch.

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions for better names for this series are appreciated plz and thank


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